We demand better lies!

Do you know what’s really gone to hell in the new South Africa? The quality of the lies we get told by our government. Yes sir, the lies were way better in the old days I grew up listening to the fictions of the Nats and, by God, those hillbillies had the gift of theContinue reading “We demand better lies!”

Two minutes of freedom

A few days ago I was on the shore of a lagoon, peering down at what seemed to be thousands of tiny, dead crabs. The shells were no larger than my fingernail but most were perfectly intact, and I was wondering how the crabs had died when a hearty voice rang out. “They’ve moulted!” saidContinue reading “Two minutes of freedom”

“What a dust do I raise!”

Once, in certain sweaty parts of the world where the main exports were bananas and refugees, it was fashionable to name infrastructure after ideologues. South Africa has managed to restrain itself – you’re unlikely to find the Thabo Mbeki Glorious People’s Communal Tap – but we do still have a weakness for renaming roads afterContinue reading ““What a dust do I raise!””

Why are white people so angry?

About a year ago I parked my car in a street near my home. When I returned from my errand there was a note under my wipers: “Please don’t park so close.” I was confused. So close to what? There were no other cars along this stretch of pavement. Was there some hidden pavement bailiff,Continue reading “Why are white people so angry?”