Banting erotica: low carbs, high sales

When romance novelist Jackie Collins died last month, she left behind some astonishing figures. I could get my head around the fact that she had written 32 novels. I could even imagine what it must be like to have your books translated into 40 languages: it’s pleasing to imagine a punctilious Mandarin translator trying toContinue reading “Banting erotica: low carbs, high sales”

Sex without a happy ending

I don’t remember the theme of my high school dance. It might have been “Night of a Thousand Stars” or “20 000 Leagues Under The Sea” or “Arabian Nights”. In the mid-1990s my school was trying hard to nurture compromise and broad-based discussion so it’s even possible we ended up with “20 000 Arabs UnderContinue reading “Sex without a happy ending”

I want no part of God or Naledi

Homo naledi is a racist plot using pseudo-science to link Africans to subhuman, baboon-like creatures. It sounded mad, and Mathole Motshekga and Zwelinzima Vavi were roundly jeered on social media for expressing it. I joined the chorus, because gigantic ignorance should not be tolerated in our leaders. But I can also understand where such paranoiaContinue reading “I want no part of God or Naledi”

Demons?! Protect the President!

Demons. They’re every secret service agent’s worst nightmare. One minute you’re standing at the president’s side, listening to the football on your earpiece, checking out the maidens in the front row. And the next – boom. The gibbering, leather-winged horde. Beelzebub’s army, getting all up in Number One’s grill. Of course we train for momentsContinue reading “Demons?! Protect the President!”

Two minutes of freedom

A few days ago I was on the shore of a lagoon, peering down at what seemed to be thousands of tiny, dead crabs. The shells were no larger than my fingernail but most were perfectly intact, and I was wondering how the crabs had died when a hearty voice rang out. “They’ve moulted!” saidContinue reading “Two minutes of freedom”

The truth is out there. Or is it in here?

Every day, Facebook asks me questions. Was my mind blown yesterday by that video of the dog cuddling with the duck? No? My mind remains unblown? Then have I considered that I might be depressed? Is it because of that thing in the news two weeks ago that only just reached Facebook today? Am IContinue reading “The truth is out there. Or is it in here?”

I put the Zzz in Schwarzenegger

I used to gym. This won’t surprise anyone who has seen me in person. My body works like a well-oiled machine, say, a typewriter from 1932. But I think some people assume writerly types avoid exercise, and I’m here to tell you it’s just not true. Many of us flock to exercise and benefit greatlyContinue reading “I put the Zzz in Schwarzenegger”

Reading between the lions

I don’t have a lot of time. Facebook is coming for me. So I’ll get straight to it. Firstly, I suspect that the dentist has some emotional issues he probably needs to deal with, which makes him identical to 7 billion other people. What makes him different, however, is that we’ve decided that he aloneContinue reading “Reading between the lions”

OMG Jokr, u r so not funny

The last time I saw the Fantastic Four they were in their late 20s, battling both evil and receding hairlines. They were desperate to save the planet because they had a deep respect for all life, but they had other powerful motivations too: they also really wanted to put down a deposit on an apartmentContinue reading “OMG Jokr, u r so not funny”